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06 March 2008 @ 10:05 am
In which I'm tired of the same shit...  
I've learned the secret to dealing with people. Ten small words to simplify my life.

"It's not my problem, and I'm staying out of it."

Now, this is not the same:

"It's not my problem, and I don't care."

I'm not being apathetic. Quite the opposite, I care too much. I devote too much of my time and energy to situations that are basically emotional black holes. I'm not going to fix them. I don't think it's possible for me to fix them. What ever energy I throw at them won't come back, and in my experience will most likely make the problem worse.

I'm not even particularly good at fixing situations. I'd say that I'm spectacularly bad at it. I can't at the moment think of an attempt that was successful, or for that matter didn't come around to bite me in the ass.

You have a problem with me, come talk to me. Otherwise, shut up. You need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. I'm here for you. But once we've done that I expect you, you strong adult person, to get up and do something about what ever had you so upset.

Furthermore, if you ask for advice and I give it to you, don't come back and whine to me about how terrible the situation is/has become since the last time we talked if you haven't tried my advice. I'm not going to put up with that anymore. I mean, feel free to ignore my advice. It's usually kinda crappy, but it's the best that I can do. But don't come back to me and whine. I gave you the best advice that I could. There's nothing else that I can do for you.

So to sum up. I care, but am no longer going to feel that anyone else's happiness is my responsibility.


( Seriously, I'm bad enough at taking care of my own life. I can't deal with yours too. )